And seeing a fig tree afar off having leaves, he came, if haply he might find any thing thereon: and when he came to it, he found nothing but leaves; for the time of figs was not yet. And Jesus answered and said unto it, No man eat fruit of thee hereafter for ever. ... And in the morning, as they passed by, they saw the fig tree dried up from the roots.

Mark 11:13-14


Explanation: One of the most clear passages about the Holy stance on figs, Jesus both proves the unworthiness of figs to be called fruits and gives punishment fitting of the figs design.





I watched as he opened the sixth seal. There was a great earthquake. The sun turned black like sackcloth made of goat hair, the whole moon turned blood red,  and the stars in the sky fell to earth, as figs drop from a fig tree when shaken by a strong wind.

Revelation 6:12-13


Explanation: Christ opens the six seals describing the destruction and end times of the earth to John. Upon opening the sixth seal Jesus reminds us that even in great times of destruction and terror, the fig still fails to do its one job and drops all its goddamn figs





It has laid waste my vines and ruined my fig trees. It has stripped off their bark and thrown it away, leaving their branches white.

Joel 1:7


Explanation: Joel is spoken to by the Lord who speaks of a time of rejoice, where all figs and fig related items shall become hallow and waste away.

Passages about the hateful fruit


God Hates Figs